Dog & Cat diaries

[Ginlas]

Someone found this on the EQCleric forum,


Quote:
The Dogs Diary

7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!

The Cats Diary

Day 183 of my captivity. My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time.

LOL [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[Catlady]

LOL that's great. I've got to send that to my mom.

[arawn]

The [img]graemlins/cat.gif[/img] says the [img]graemlins/cat.gif[/img] part owns [img]wink.gif[/img]

[Frostmourn]

AWWWEESOME!!!

[Gludain]

lol that was pretty good. [img]cool.gif[/img]

[Mymy42]

Bahaha...Cat I hope your cats aren't plotting like that! [img]tongue.gif[/img]

This page mustbe stolen from my poochie's diary. He was overjoyed to see my family come back from Florida to take him back home....he slobbered joyously on my leg and everything.

[Mymy42]

Oh what the hey, I'm gonna post some quotes my dad sent me. Some of them are pretty funny. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

----------------

1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.


2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.


3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...neither works.


4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.


5. Always drink upstream from the herd.


6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.


7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.


8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.


9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.


10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.


11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.


12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral:
When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.


ABOUT GROWING OLDER...


First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.


Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.


Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.


Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.


Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.


Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.


Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.


Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.


Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.


Tenth ~ Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.


And finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old

[Mymy42]

http://ebaumsworld.com/2006/01/stompsong.html

For those of you who like stomp (the people who make music by banging on trashcans..I love them lol)

[Mymy42]

.....more quotish things, this time sent to me by my Mom. Anybody else have fun quotes/pictures and such? [img]wink.gif[/img]

-------------------


>>Why?
>>
>>Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries
>>are getting weak?
>>
>>Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there
>>is not enough?
>>
>>Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
>>but check when you say the paint is wet?
>>
>>Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
>>
>>Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
>>
>>Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
>>
>>Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw
>>a revolver at him?
>>
>>Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
>>
>>Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
>>
>>If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
>>
>>Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
>>always white?
>>
>>Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Or cars? Or carpet?
>>
>>Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
>>something new to eat will have materialized?
>>
>>Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum
>>cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to
>>give the vacuum one more chance?
>>
>>Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?
>>
>>How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
>>
>>When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
>>shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all
>>right? " Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt,
>>you stupid idiot!"
>>
>>Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling
>>off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
>>
>>In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer
>>when we complained about the heat?
>>
>>How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
>>
>>If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife
>>told you to do it?
>>
>>And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up
>>skydiving!
>>
>>And my FAVORITE...
>>
>>The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
>>suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best
>>friends, if they're okay, then it's you.

[arawn]

Hahaha those quotes own. and welcome back Kitty cat. [img]graemlins/cat.gif[/img]